angels surrounds miie

2011-06-23T21:31:00.002+08:00

IM REALLY DOWN. DOWN WITH FLU AND DOWN WITH NEGATIVE FEEDBACKS FROM IN CHARGE.

I wanted to prove to ppl im strong when actually i really is not. Im just so powerless that no one listens to me. NO ONE. How sad. Feel so lousy right now. They say being a staff is not about the money, but about the power you holds. But its so not true cause they dont bother if your high up or below, as long as you're younger than them, they just wont listen and dont bother. Shit life.

I miss my clinic 5 girls whom i love so much. I miss my oh so naggy but cute in charge, janice and eve. I miss everything in clinic 5 to even the rollar chairs i love to sit in n adjust height just to scare yangmin when she share it with me. Sighs.

People isnt empathatic, life isnt getting better, its getting worst. Day by day.

2011-03-21T20:20:00.002+08:00

I sing of 'need you now', he sings of 'for the first time'.

Wondered y my amped player, which is set on shuffle is playing all the emo songs today as i set off to go home.

Wondered y i felt welcomed by the thunders and windy sky. As i walk home, i embraced the rain that is wetting up my bare skin with my ear piece plugged into my ears, with the thunders rumbling in sync with my music beats.

Wondered what's wrong with me.

Wondered y is today a damn emotional day.

Wondered what's wrong with me.

2011-03-12T13:45:00.003+08:00

Something sparked inside my mind todae as i casually surf through facebook... Does that give me a reason to be paranoid??

Where's my life??

Where's my friends??

Where am i heading to??

Looking at my friends, they seem to always have a purpose in life... Im alone in my room, with songs blasting so loudly, trying to stop me from thinking. I, think too much.

A sudden urge to run away from everything in life and find something that is unrelated and different. YM n Karen says i used to be more cheerful. Losing grip, no insight and screaming from the inside. Time after time i came back to the same old problem. Back to square one. I want to run away. Badly. I'll rather suffer from depression, the only way i find back the reality of myself.

Too long i have not cry alone, too long have i not felt the cruelty of life.

Maybe im away from You for far too long.

(listen to avril's nobody's home)

2011-03-09T21:48:00.002+08:00

After so many months, im back to update. Im so confused sometimes in life.

I feel my job has caused me to have an irreversible side effect, to feel more immune to death or birth. I wondered since when did ive became more 'cold hearted' or am i that cold hearted to start with? If so, why do i pity people so easily? -sigh-

In regarding of my life, i just feel so helpless. Knowing that i couldnt please everyone, i really hope i didnt actually made someone hate me yet. What could one do when someone dislikes you even though you have tried almost everything to please? I dont know.

Its just the prelude of what's gonna happen, hoping i would be able to celebrate and embrace the changes that im going to face. Hoping i will stay happy as always, looking optimistic, changing the life of others.

2010-11-20T12:23:00.002+08:00

It definately doesnt feel good to have lightning and thunders with wild-bolts trying to blast into my house, no, my house is not cosy. It sounds like it just outside my freaking window, giving me heart attacks. Not something i want to encourage for the faint hearted. =)

True?

2010-10-18T15:22:00.002+08:00

SPIDER WEBS SPIDER WEBS!

Hahax, apologises for not blogging for so long, got so caught up with work, inspirations doesnt flow. Getting dumber i think. =)

Im recently trying out a new thing, to be beautiful. I want to look beautiful from within. Starting from me believing it. Hahax. Confidence makes a girl beautiful isnt it? I should stop looking so emo when im with my friends. They say ive been selfish to myself for not pampering myself as much. =(

As much as i want to look beautiful, im having a thin wallet, wonder where all my money goes. Haha. Sharts. Being vain sure need some sacrificing. Lol. I wanna take up a new hobby. Suggestion anyone?

2010-09-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

Life is an endless waiting. If you realise, we are waiting for something everyday. Waiting to board a train or mrt, waiting for traffic light to turn green, waiting for patients to come, waiting for the doctor, waiting for the nurse to get ready, waiting for time to pass, waiting for the weekend to arrive, waiting for a certain somebody, the list can go on and on. The daily hassle of waiting or waiting for our life time goal to come true, waiting for opportunities.

Waiting for his proposal, waiting for marriage, waiting to be have a child (must have family planning), waiting for your bundle of joy to be born, waiting for your child to grow up, waiting for retirement, waiting to... die.

Endless waiting, thats life. But this doesnt include the happiness of waiting, the building up of anticipation, life is so unpredictable. Its a guessing game, you can only imagine what could have happened. But it might not be true too.

Love is just being able to be by your side. Love is worth all the waiting, even thought we doesnt know what could happen, but we should always hope for the best.

2010-08-09T17:07:00.003+08:00

Ages since i blogged, hasnt really got any good ideas to blog about... But i guess i really hv to think about something to post to clear up the spiderwebs. =D

The weather recently has been scorching hot or chilly wet. I guess its not very long till the end of time for our mankind. But surely i hope its not within my generation, hahax, blame it on my selfishness to live my good life now, come on, who doesnt wan to live if everything is going well in life? =) Really something to be very grateful about.

Human is too vulnerable to death, thats what i think. Something like a small ant. Theres too much factor to which can kill us. For instant, of course, god-willed death, that we could change much, like natural disaster... even a fall can kill u, electrocuted, fatigue, eat too much kills u too, for anything you do, theres a possibility that it might take away your life. Vulnerable isnt it?

So here comes the debate on whether life is worth living for, of course this is subjective... Its all in the mindset you have about life, or quality of life. No point living if you lost all four limbs plus being blinded and deaf right? haha, maybe someone would, just because he has a goal to work for even in this kind of circumstances right? GAH, what am i talking about now, making ppl depressive, hahax...

My point is, if your someone who doesnt think live is worth living for, there are bound to have things to consider, be it your parents, your loved ones, or even yourself. There will be a rainbow after the thunderstorm. Nothing last forever. Cliche.

Life is good, when you know how to enjoy it. =) And a happy national day sing-a-pore...

2010-07-10T15:58:00.004+08:00

Empowerment

Well, i met something interesting in the mrt on the way home on wednesday, which made me think alittle. Empowerment, to give power or authority to someone. Especially by legal or official means. We, as nurses, doctors, soldiers, lawyers or any uniformed workers, are empowered by our uniform to do certain things. When you are wearing a nurse uniform, you are abide to care for the society, when you are wearing a stethoscope around your neck and wearing a lab coat, you are empowered to treat (but who wears a lab coat in public?). When you are wearing the pixalized green uniform, you are supposed to protect the country.

When you are in uniform in public, you are not known as the person you are, but the occupation you are in. For example, when im in uniform in the public, im not joanne, im a nurse. You represents your own kind. Smile when people smiles at you. Offer seats even when your dead tired. Be a courteous nurse, doctor or even soldier.

I had a great day with theresa and karen ytd, even if i becomed the clown for the day, just seeing them smile makes me happy too. Watching my baby sleeping closely, he had a harsh call last nite. Just wish that everyone ard me is happy.

2010-06-29T13:41:00.002+08:00

Joanne is sick today... Having sore throat... People might say 'ehh, you sore throat also want to take mc arh?? Trying to chao geng(running away frm work)?' Nope, i just dont want to visit my near death experience again. The feeling of not being able to breathe again is too scary to even think about it.

Ask me about the experience if you guys want to know... It will change ur perspection of a mere sore throat. It can kill, i assure you.

2010-06-22T19:29:00.003+08:00

I have nothing to blog about, so i show u my funny face... Lol, fresh from the showers.

2010-06-14T21:50:00.003+08:00

Joshua bell's concert was totally AWESOME!!

yea, i went to his concert with JR ytd, i must say he's really great. Even though i did yawn alittle, but its because its so harmonious till im totally relaxed and its just like a lullaby to me. =)

JR suggested i should go get his autograph since this is the first time i went to a music concert and we did. He stood up and shook my hand...... And he saw JR staring at him like a hawk. (Rofl, sori dear, i just want to make it more comical)

That's all that happen. =D

Had monday blue today... But the day end up well. I miss JR.

My little bunny's drawing. Isnt it sweet?

2010-06-12T11:44:00.004+08:00

it has been long since i blogged, so here i am to clear up alittle spiderweb...

Lesson no. 1 in relationship with friends.

Try not to share too much of your lovely love life with your not-so-close friends, they dun wan to hear it, especially when they have relationship problms there and then. NOT WISE. They will grow jealous on you and say nasty stuffs. OK, not all friends do that, but yea, jealousy do kill too. So when you feel 'oh-my-goodness, i must share how blissful i am' , share it with your parents(if its an open relationship). They will be happy for you, even though i cant guarantee they would be a good listener.

Lesson no. 2 in relationship with friends.

Accept who they are. Everyone is not perfect, in fact, no one is. Even though some may be close to perfect(someone like LJR). There will be flaws, and times when they have conflicts with you. Forgive n forget. Nothing cannot be resolved, though sometimes it means using the last resort such as fight, highly unrecommended. But i do fight with jael too, but purely for fun. In any case whereby you tried to accept but to no avail, even if you have found out that hatred is building up, keep it to the minimal and think about their good points, it will help you neutralise the hatred and make it easier to like them again.

Bah, I really dont know if you would agree to what i have said...

JR's 2 loves are his stethoscope and his piano... These are mine...

2010-05-24T18:50:00.002+08:00

Who it is to blame for this tragedy,
who is responsible for what is happening?
No one.
People come and go.
People say colleagues will always be colleagues and nothing else.
But who says colleagues will not turn out to be your best friend or even spouse?
What has happened to clinic 5?
First goes shikin,
den goes vivian,
recently joey,
up coming yaty.
All my friends/colleagues are leaving one by one.
I cant deny that our clinic is not as united as before, we go for breaks separately sometimes, we dont go out for lunch and dinner during half days, we dont go shopping and spend time together that often anymore. I have put in much effort to hold on to that as long as possible, but i guess changes are inevitable. When will it all end that all is left are people who spend 40 hrs per week but know nothing, absoutely nothing about each other. That will just be sad.

Even though i know the reasons why they left deep down, its getting to me too. I will try to hold on, cause, i guess its all up to me to bring us back together again.

2010-05-15T17:18:00.002+08:00

im really touched by laopo words on her blog... thanks jael... i miss you too u noe?? =)

wondering why am i blogging in such a wonderful saturday? wondering why im not out playing? im out, blogging using Jr's lappie... =) there's a concert rehersal at his house... so he's dwn playing the piano... -sway head according to the melodious music downstairs-

its really nice to be in a house full of talented musicians... =)

hmm, nth constructive in my head today which is dying to get out.... -sulk- will get back to you guys when i have more content to blog about k? Does love make ppl stupid?? hahax... Maybe~ Tata for now...
^^ -im lazy to type anything here-

2010-05-10T17:59:00.003+08:00

Did i mention my mum was sick? Yup, its my turn now... =( caught her cold, and pinned dwn on the bed with body aches, sore throat and headaches... just one day mc... i guess it will be alrite...

Dr low is supposed to do a home visit to my hus todae... but as the hours go pass, my mood goes frm top to bottom. Thinking he may end early, i waited for noon to come, later did i noe he has to go to nuh. Still holding the hope he might come in the late aftn, my hopes are dampened by the msg saying he may end ard 6. Finally, lying on the bed, i waited for 6 to come. He msged, but not the news i wanted to hear. From anticipating for him to come at noon, to waiting for him to go home.

Just like a puppy waiting for his owner to go home, bark happily at any noise he thought might be you've came home, but you will never notice the disappointment he feels when the sound just stops before it reaches the doorstep. The only thing he can do is wait.

Jr says it will get worst. This means i have to cope with this, cause this will happen more frequently soon. I will try my best. I understand ppl have their own life to attend to, but just wondering if i can do anything about it. I miss you too much dear. It really tortures me to not see you for one day. Tell me what I should do.

Now i understand why joey say its tough. But it will be worthwhile isnt it? Ppl are confusing me already.

Im dying without you... I really miss you very much... =(

2010-05-06T21:43:00.001+08:00

HAD A GREAT NITE! =D

2010-05-06T15:00:00.002+08:00

Finally, a half day at work, hahax... was supposed to meet Jr at his place, but Dr low have to rush to nuh to do some research... =( so here i am, blogging at the comfort of my home. Mum's nt reali feeling well, so im back to take care of her for a short period of time and bought her lunch... (see, im a good girl.. lol)

I'm glad that things are sorted out between Jr n me, actually, its just me being sensitive, hate that part of me... It always aggravate things... Oh, and guess what?? HE BOUGHT ME ANOTHER ROSE. A red one this time, GORGEOUS... =) Love it very much. Thanks dear...

The scorching weather is making me dehydrated. -Thirsty thirsty- And i have been bathing for at least twice a day... BUT, this weather is GREAT for swimming!! Oh how i miss the chlorine water, ok, not very much about the chlorine, but the feeling of having water all around you, an hour of swimming cant do wonders. SERIOUSLY. Its my emergency tummy slimming secret. SHH~

I've put on 4kg within 2 mths. I'VE PUT ON 4kg IN 2MTHS!! I cant believe it, even Jr said ive become fatter. Its gross. Very. Im fat now and seriously need exercise. Anyone wants to be my exercise buddy? =D

It looks yummy. Can I eat it?

2010-05-04T21:50:00.002+08:00

RANT RANT GOES ON~

I have a swollen, red, itching, pain and teary eye... Now, doesnt it sound familiar?? hahax... seriously, i hope it isnt what i think...

Just came back frm JR's... Mixed feeling i must say, with me calling n he doesnt pick up, he is aware of me calling him, he say he need some time alone... Im shivering... i hate this sentence... its always the start of something bad... im shivering bad... i cant stop.... too many things popping up in my head... bad stuffs...

i cant type anymore... my fingers cnt find the keys...

2010-05-01T22:55:00.003+08:00

HAD A GREAT DAY SPENDING IT WITH MY LOVE ONE...

woke up missing my little bunny... went to central with my uncle helping him buy my family's food, feeling more and more like a maid... hahax... ok larx... nt that bad...

went to jael's after brunch... =D missed her so much!! after so long, i realised i still have the 'bond' with her... hahax... the crazy days we spent together... =) i really will miss her~ =)

finally, jael met my swit bunny~ hahax... and JR saw how a crazy duo me n jael are together... lol... and i managed to spend quality time with my swits... miss him alr... =)

Dear JinRong,

You cant be compared with anyone in this world, because there's nothing to be compared to, you're too good to be compared to anyone dear. Have more confidence in yourself, have more confidence in me. I will NEVER leave you unless you wanted me to, NO ONE could love me better than you do. You are the only one I want to live with for the rest of my life. I will love you even if you've stopped loving me. I love you dear, very very much.

Promised, Joanne

2010-04-26T21:25:00.004+08:00

SURPRISE!!

said JR when he pulled out a pink rose from my back when he was hugging me... I was dumbfounded. Really shocked, I stared at the pretty rose then right back to his gorgeous face. I nearly teared with joy and melted into his arms with more hugs and kisses. =) Such a pleasant surprise I must say... THANKS DEAR FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME...

You're always there when i needed you, wiping off my tears when i miss you too much. You're always encouraging me when i feel hopeless and at the brim of giving up. You get so heartbroken when im sick. You NEVER fails to bring a smile to my face and make me laugh. You're more than I can ever ask for. You're my JR, my gorgeous bf, my perfect husband and most importantly, you are my everything, my life.

2010-04-25T21:19:00.005+08:00

Hey there anyone who's reading my blog... Joanne is in a story-telling mood today, so let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, in a modernised world,
A girl in an oversized black shirt who belongs to her bf's,
board a bus down memory lane,
but one thing remains,
she's still alone.
She was torn apart once,
but wished for no more.
The scene looks so familar,
but she dare not think any further.
As the thoughts finally got to her,
she tasted tears in her throat,
the salty, choking tears.
She alighted at the stop,
with radio blasting from her headphones.
'Straight through the heart, Cant stop the bleeding' the lyric says.
Acappella accompanied her down the dim lighted and narrow walkway.
An urge of standing just in the middle of the busy road when the man turns red.
So the girl in black went back to the empty dark house.
With quiet footsteps, she walked barefoot in the empty house,
she endured the cold bath which left her heart cold and as empty as the house she is in.

This could have happened to me, but i got selfish and seek help before i fell into the bottomless pit of emo'ness. But sometimes being ignorant is a better choice.

I love roses, but with roses, comes the thorns too.

2010-04-21T21:07:00.003+08:00

SCREAM LOUDLY~ JOANNE SPENT ALMOST 100 dollars on shopping today!!

She is so broke right now, she even borrowed 25 from her colleague to buy a dress! Thats so not right. What has the world become!! ok, im abit agitated, cuz apparently, ya, i spent too much today, FAR FAR too much. Shopping with ros and ellis is DANGEROUS! Hahax, seriously, every time i go out with either ellis or ros, i will spent money on needless things like clothes, accessories or shoes. DAMN. Rofl.

No. 1 - Rubi's high heel black wedges ($30)

Reason - found it very cute, ellis told me it suits me. =D

No. 2 - Fox yellow tank top ($15)

Reason - Ellis say i could get it cheaper if she bought another shirt

No. 3 - Grey cloth dress ($25)
Reason - It looked nice and greek-like. Agreed by ros and her friend.

Yea, i spent quite alot today on clothes. Argh. I kept on swearing im not going to buy anything, but the next minute you saw me trying on some gorgeous shirt or something. Whats wrong with me? I'll push the blame to my bf, cuz i miss him to much. Lol. Partly. Im serious. I got the tendency to do that all the time.

Im broke and angry at myself. Period. But im soo gonna show it off to my bf tmr~ Hahax.

The picture speaks a million words. =)

2010-04-20T15:03:00.003+08:00

Time flies when you're happy, really have to apologised to my colleagues and i/c for getting sick at the wrong time when the clinic is very bz. We have work hard and work together to obtain a harmonious and happy working environment, im really proud of the clinic 5 nurses. But we have become less united as people come and go, its hard for us to build up the unity in our clinic anymore, such a shame. As long as we tried our best, no one can say much.

I love u guys~ Janice, Evelyn, Leong, Big joanne, yaty, ellis, rosalie, yang min. Pray that we will stay lively and happy working with each other!!

I miss my girlfriends~ Jael, shasha, esther, raylie and vivian. Haven seen them for ages! Haven have the time to really catch up with them. =p My bad.

And of cuz, my sweet little bunny, which i can never get enough of. =)

I love my life now. I feel really blessed to have my love ones all around me, giving me the support i needed. WHO SAYS SIMPLE LIFE IS BORING? Let Joanne prove u wrong.

2010-04-18T00:39:00.003+08:00

My life starts with you and ends with you. Love you too much to let go. Sweetly touched by you so many times, nothing matters anymore as long you are by my side, with you nothing i will fear.

Low Jinrong, will you take Joanne ng to be your lawfully wedded wife? CAUSE SHE FREAKINGLY WANTS TO! ^^

2010-04-18T00:01:00.003+08:00

Conclusion, Joanne is crazily in love... I miss him so much even though he just left the house. No one can love me more than him, nothing can stop me from loving him. Nothing.

Was emo when he was about to leave the hus, even though I know its wrong to do so. I wished he has known how much he mean to me. I really is fallen very deep in love with him. My mind is filled with him, so is my heart.

I love JR. I love him very(infinity times) much.

forever and ever and ever and ever, not even death do we part. Ok?

2010-04-11T14:13:00.002+08:00

Small inter-personal talk to myself.

I foresee that it will rain soon. Maybe in the late afternoon, depending on how fast my emotion reaches the sky. Emo? Maybe a little.

The weather is so sunny now, i wonder whats im emo'ing about. I dont want to speak, i just wan to keep quiet and console myself everything will be alright. 5 years. How much i can trust on that? Something inside me constantly tells me i wouldnt be ur bride. Something inside me is fighting to believe in you. I know it will be alright. Cherish and treasure what you have now and you will not regret later, right. But why do i want to have you to myself, to console myself that no other will have the chance to own you, to console myself you will not love another. To have confidence in myself that im the one for you. Everything is so well, why do i still feel that its not real. I really can feel the dilemma the girl felt in the movie 'when in rome'... Wondering if all these are real or are you just under a spell.

Nothing else matters except you.

2010-04-04T13:00:00.005+08:00

Rainy sunday... had a long weekend~ thanks to good friday, did nothing much except for going out and obvious of who i went out with. OH, clash of the titans is nice! You guys really should go and watch it, i enjoyed it to the max, not only because i kind of like things associated with greek Gods, but its also an intense show with alot of actions. NICE.

This particular sunday made me think about some stuff when im alone. How much should u trust horoscope, tarot cards or even zodiac fortunes? I dont know much about this things, but i do believe in them for... lets say, 60%? Tarot cards readers once told me i have a 'tai tai' life and that this relationship im in will be my last (meaning i would marry him). I guess i will put some trust in it, nono, not the 'tai tai' life part but the marrying part, wouldnt mind if i were to get married to JR. =)

Yesterday, I read about some stuff in FHM (yea, i read FHMs.), they were talking about some guys 'cheating' on their gfs. That lead me pondering about, to what extend will you consider your gf/bf is cheating on you? I think its personal, about how much can you tolerate your bf/gf interacting with the opp sex. I have been minimising my contact with all other guys. It is because i dont need it, i have more than everything ive asked for in JR and because i will NEVER want anything to get in between us, be it misunderstandings, or jealousy. NEVER EVER. He's too important to me.

Heh, seriously, after so many years of blogging, i wonder who ever read this blog?? Except for ppl who has the same mindset as me can tolerate this amount of emo'ness and weirdness. Hahax.

No one is an island on its own. To be able to live healthy and happy, one has to have someone who you look up to for support and console. Be it your family, your spouse, your religion, your friends. They are all very important and plays a big part of your life, appreciate them. Thank them for being there when you needed them.

Thank you mummi, daddi, korkor, JR, my gfs and others who has played a part in my life. You guys made me who i am today, you guys played a part in shaping me into a better person. You guys gave me an interesting life. With you guys, my life has added meaning and i know im nt wasting my life away. I love u guys!!

I miss jeal, i miss esther, i miss shasha and raylia. I miss going out with my funky colleagues. The one i missed the most is, needless to say, my one and only bf.

I miss you.

2010-03-29T15:39:00.002+08:00

Little add-ons to my previous post, just right after i blogged, its pouring rain. Imagine in the dark room, playing by2's Dont go away, raining heavily outside. Its getting depressing. I hope my bf is bz with his work and not because he's trying to ignore me. PARANOID JOANNE PARANOID!! Of cuz he's bz... Gawr. -sulks- =D nvm~ i think im going to end up with bi-polar.

2010-03-29T14:01:00.003+08:00

Rest Today, Chiong Tomorrow. My battle strategy for today, hahax, cuz definitely, tmr will be a big war. Prof's clinic has never been easy to run. Yeah, im stuck at home with a mc, hot weather and lots of spare times.

Whenever i have lots of spare time, i usually will spend them thinking about... random stuffs i guess, and when i did, i cant help but feel abit emo.

Something that im thinking about is how do you know if you're doing enough for a relationship? Some might say, 'simple, just give your best, and you will have no regrets.' Im here to query them, 'So if you have given your best, how do you know if the other party is appreciative or is giving his/her best too?'

The biggest challenge for me in a relationship is not whether you and your gf/bf has similar interests or not, it is to cope with me, having insecurity when problems arise and having to talk myself out of it. Having the urge to query myself 'if i dont ___ will he ___? , if i ___ does he ___?, what happen if ___?' . Being so afraid of differences in each other life and how we handle things bring a sense of insecurity. I know its normal for 2 human being to have differences, cause that is where compromising comes along isnt it? But what if, thats the habit of that person? Will you try to change him/her? As people has said, the more you love the person, your expectations of him/her rises too. So what happens if the person cant fulfill your expectations?

There's too much 'what ifs', 'what happens' and 'what am i going to do' in my head right now, maybe im just being too much of a thinker, or maybe im just preparing myself for all those unexpected problems? I cant decide. I guess i must blame my low self-esteem for these, im just too afraid to lose JR. Whenever i picture the worst thing that may happen, it just bring tears to my eyes. It might not happen i know, telling myself to be optimistic.

The only thing that stays the same is change. The more you want something to stay the same, the more things will change.

What is love? It may be a chapter in a guy's life, but its the whole book to a girl.

People, never break the heart that truly loves you. He's/she's not perfect, you arent either, but if he/she can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think it twice. Admit to being human, we make mistakes. So, hold on to him/her and give the most you can. Its not going to be easy, but at least you know you have done your best.

Im trying not to think so much. I envy people who has a heck-care attitude, cause sometimes, they are the real happy-go-lucky bunch. I may be wise, but i tend to think too much into things. To stop asking myself questions that i cant answer, cause only the particular person has the answer but too afraid to hear the answer that i dread the most. The hated the most when i have to tell myself 'i told you so'.

I wish i will never lose you JR, i cant believe i have put in so much feelings into this relationship in such a short time. Is this a good thing? Will it cause u stress? What more can i ask of you, your more than i can ever deserved. Too much more than i can EVER deserved, i dont know what have ive done to even to have the honour to know you, needless to say to have u as my bf. Is this a dream? Cause if it is, i'll rather not wake up. NEVER. Ive never believed in fairytales, but now i do after i get to know you.

Don't leave me.

2010-03-24T20:56:00.002+08:00

i want to whine!! so let me whine first... and think of something to blog later...

JR is still stuck at nuh... (repeat that sentence for 10 times) argh... WHY? He is tortured there larx... one day i'll become the heroine to save him out. Lol. Supposed to go his house to have dinner today, but he got held up. Held up for so long. Poor boy, its really tough being a doc huh. Well, as her gf, i think i should encourage him. So here goes...

dear, i know you will be bz for the next few weeks, just want to let you know that i will always be by your side, encouraging you, giving you all the care and concern u needed, well, thats what nurses are expert in isnt it? =) hang on there alrite? just 1 more year to go, must jiayou!! i'll do anything to make the journey easier... and through this hard period of time, i believe we cn go through it hand in hand. We have a lifetime to spend with each other, small things like this wouldnt affect us. I love you dear, and no one can stop me from loving you. I really really miss you very very much. DEAR JIAYOU!

I really miss him too much. I can feel myself crumbling down with emo'ness, but i know cant do that, i have to be his support, someone he can count on when tough time falls. I believe i can do it. So much as i wanted to throw a tantrum, telling everyone how nuh tortures ppl (=p), but i know he felt 10 times worser. Dont worry, Im ok!! I promise!

HOLIDAY!

2010-03-20T16:20:00.003+08:00

isn't it weird that im at home blogging on a saturday? my my, have i gone crazy? NO. its a rainy saturday, stayed home for the whole afternoon now, waiting for JR to come over. did some household chores (which i normally dont).. washing of my shoes, clearing of my babies cages, tidying up of my room (which i didnt succeed)... and last but not least, i blogged.

as i was surfing through the blogs of my loves, i realise life isnt easy, each writing a different life story, facing different difficulty, i must say, im pretty lucky... Life has been well and about for me recently. I cant imagine having to go through those phases of life they are going through now.

Unbearable consequences of mistakes, dearie jael having to give up her boy. If i was her, i would just elope with him. Haha, kidding. But yeah, its really a torture to part with someone you dearly loved.

Working life as a young girl, i really have to salute to sweet shasha, she has really been through alot in life. Let me see, what was i doing when im 17 or 18? Im still studying, so protected by my parents, never have to go out to the world n work. Lucky me.

Who am i to deserve such lucky life that im in now? Or maybe... its just the clear sky before the thunderstorm. I sure hope not!! -touch wood, touch wood, hug the tree-

just some random ranting, im not refering to anyone or anything.

here's something for girls to think about..

materialistic young girls have always wish that her bf would drive a car, but halt!

not all guys who owns a driving license drives,

not all guys who drives owns a car,

not all guys who owns a car is willing to drive you around,

not all guys who is willing to drive you around are nice guys,

not all guys who are nice will be a good bf,

not all guys who are good bf suits you.

so girls, remember these sentences when your trying to be materialistic. =) smiles everyone... PEACE OUT! -break into laughters-

What happens when Athena falls in love with Apollo? With one so witty, another a total romantic.

I wan go holiday! =D

2010-03-19T20:39:00.003+08:00

I HATE FEELING SICK.

or lets say, congrats me for being able to last through the week... but still, here comes the fatigue i hate the most after being stressed for 5 days, like the post-exam sickness... when u fell sick right after your last paper...

but y i hate feeling sick? let me describe to you why...

i went dinner with JR, but right before that, the whole aftn im having a hard time concentrating at work becuz of my massive gastric pain which has weirdly affected my back too... no, my doctor didnt do anything after knowing im unwell, no, my colleague didnt do anything.. or at least, she helped me... no, my incharge didnt suspect anything even though my face is twisted with pain and i asked for antacids... NO. thats nt the worst...

or at least something helped alittle to ease the pain. JR n yiruma's music... while i board the train, i found and seat in a small corner n rested my head against the wall... listening to yiruma's music helped me to relax alittle, but still the pain is there... didnt dare to tell JR cuz i dun wan him to wori too much, or to miss his meeting with his friends. im sori but i still have to say its unbearable, i closed my eyes cuz i realise my eyes are constantly wet... everywhere of me is aching, my head is bursting, i feel so breathless. i felt dizzy ever since aftn, but at least i maintained my steady gait.

while i was walking home frm the mrt station. i felt like my soul and my body is tearing apart. i feel like im floating even though i noe im dragging my feet when i walked. my soul wants to run home but my body just felt like falling apart... its scary... my mum thinks im rude cuz i didnt reply her question, im too tired to...

i need rest... but i miss him... tell me what to do... wonder y i feel insignificant.

2010-03-16T19:31:00.002+08:00

small rant of the day..

im bored... hahax, even though i reali have lots of thing under my bummies to do, im just too lazy to... chuckle... i feel weird without him ard me todae... -smile sweetly-

i HAVE to tidy up my room... i HAVE to... its getting messier n messier, books and notes everywhere, but i just cnt get my butt up frm the com chair to do it... im tired... hahax... physical tired... im aching all over.. totally drained by war at work todae... lol...

i HAVE to feed my babies... ok, this is clear enough to understand that its a neccessity...

i HAVE to start noting down things in my love diary before i forgets anything... im forgetful, so i have to do it...

miss him miss him miss him to NANO bits...

2010-03-14T13:55:00.002+08:00

small rant of the day

suddenly felt an urge to blog this sunday aftn... weather isnt that good... it was, when i was practicing piano, but once i stopped, the sky turned gray without me noticing, now its preparing itself for a heavy downpour, with my emotions included in it... i noticed how depressing my musics are, but i guess that's wat im always conveying to people who knows the real me...

its a stay home sunday and i realised how much have i not done in this hus, inclusive of tidying my room, practicing piano, surf the net, read my book, clear the cages of my babies... but just some part of me just want to hide in a corner and daydream...

while i was screening through my piano scores, i realised i knew how to play some pieces, which apparently, i forgot... and yea, some muscle memories here and there, but wasn't able to recall how to play them... i was concentrating on doing my things when something struck me. I FEEL A NEED TO PRACTICE ON A REAL PIANO, not just merely my small tiny keyboard...

so, who has a 2nd hand piano for sale, pls do contact me... cause i believe i really need it.

*shocks* with so much things stucked in my head, i really dont know what else can i say... splendid/relaxing/emotional/boring/gloomy/peaceful day... i know im contradicting, who isnt?? but one thing i know for sure, im missing him...

2010-03-13T20:52:00.004+08:00

CHALET @ JR hus...

have to thank yl, joey, fiona, mark and john for coming... it went well, quite well... reali hoped they had fun n nt bored... i was the first one to dunk myself into the bed with someone staring at me while i slp, more or less... hahax... slpt reali well, i hope i didnt crush dear and made him suffocate.. both of us was dead beat so i wasnt reali aware of anything that happened the instant i sense the comfy bed... lol... and played alot of guitar heroes (standing on the rooftop standing at the rooftop~ ahh haaa~) yups... it was reali fun... =D chalet has nv been so fun...

thanks to you, i had the most memorable and awesome sleepover ever...

food for thoughts-

SIMPLICITY IS GOOD. =D needless to say, life would be easier, happier...

disclaimer: the following will cause u severe goosebumps and DM... a note for someone special with mushy lines.

Life is happier and more meaningful when ur around, with miracles working and massive sparks between both of us, its so hard to tear us apart, i will do my very best and with everything ive got, i promise to love you... (even though i have love u long ago... very much) you are the one im looking for... The one i want to spend my life with... ^^ No one can stop me from loving you. No words can explain how much i love you. With all my heart, i give u my all.

2010-03-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

WHATS HAPPENING TO ME?!!

2010-03-06T17:26:00.003+08:00

Heys peeps, haven been blogging for a long time, guess its time for me to do the usual maintance for my blog to keep it going...

for those who are concern about what i have been doing recently, ive haven been doing much except for work and dating... quite bz recently, n haven touched the computer for ages as my bro was having his tests and sorts, dun reali wan to disturb him... KOR JIAYOU JIAYOU!! finally, my first piano lesson tmr... abit jittery... because... erm... nevermind that... but im really excited and looking forward to it, after all these YEARS, someone actually wants to teach me piano!! =D

for those who wants some food for thoughts this week to think about.. i have one, which im also pondering about.

chatted with joey todae, its her birthday!! hapi birthday dearest fling... =D but as we sat down n started to have a causal chat, something struck my mind n we talked about FAILED RELATIONSHIPS. i mean...

In every relationship, there's honeymoon period, how long it lasts depends on how you felt for the other party, there's no such thing as a smooth relationship, highs and lows in emotion sending you into a tiring emotion rollarcoaster, fights and arguements that helps you understand the other party more, sweet moments that both of you will share. How prepared are you to face problems between both of you? How sure are you that he/she is the 'right one'? All these questions all makes you hestitate to love someone. BUT, i begged to differ, so much as i know things may happen, i believe if both of them still loves each other, IT WILL WORK OUT. Maybe not to the extend that everything will just turn back to normal, but an agreement can be made. I will advice my friends to go all out to love someone, even though the ending might not be the one you have expected, because, we're young, this is how we learn. Don't look back and cry because its over, smile because it happened. Another cliche line, i know. But do put some thoughts over it. After you realised this point, YOU WILL BE HAPPIER. Believe that every failed relationship is a learning point that happened FOR A REASON. and that is to prepare you for a better, more blissful relationship.

Last but not least, i miss you dear.

The sand, sun, sea with you and me.

2010-02-28T00:11:00.001+08:00

IM SO TIRED, I WANT TO Zzz... goodnite everyone... (at least i blogged)

2010-02-24T21:53:00.001+08:00

i feel so insecure, i hope im just being paranoid... when i noe i will never let go of the hand that gave me warm and protection when i needed.

2010-02-22T20:47:00.003+08:00

i believe I've done this test before... ages ago... but now i did again to find out if there's any 'changes' but i guess it mostly the same...

for ppl who cared to understand me... thanks.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice.

People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Your views on yourself:
-You are down-to-earth
-People like you because you are so straightforward
-You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties

The type of boyfriend you are looking for:
-You are a true romantic
-When you are in love, you will do anything, everything to keep your love true

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
-You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person and you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person

The seriousness of your love:
-You are very serious about relationships
-Aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like
-If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply, beautifully in love

Your views on education:
-Education is very important in life
-You want to study hard and learn as much as you can

The right job for you:
-You are a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income
-Knowing what you like to do is important
-Finding a regular job doing just that will set for life

How do you view success:
-You are afraid of failure
-Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed

What are you most afraid of:
-You are concerned about your image
-The way others see you
-This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people
-Its time for you to believe in who you are

i want to trust you more but im taught not to be too trusting. i want to believe in myself but im taught to be humble. i want to be able to make you proud but im taught that failure can happen. i want to be courageous but too afraid to. i want to be close to you but is afraid i might fall in love with you. i want to be selfish and snatch you away from them but im taught to be selfless. i want to tell you im the one but afraid you begged to differ. i want to like you more but afraid to be hurt.

2010-02-20T13:30:00.003+08:00

if any thing can express my emotion now, it muz be a series of music which potrays the struggle that all man will go through... a fast paced and hard strunged music... the massive blown emotions sent me through a rollar coaster ride, so many high and lows, unable to control myself like a small little dove learning to fly...

for so many times, ive found myself caught in situations that i cant handle, so many times, i have to get ppl to get me out of it... times and times again, i tried so hard to find the balance in my life again... i reckon some of us feels that the older you grow, the more complicated you become... i want to have a simple life, to just throw away everything and start over again, but its impossible, whatever that you have been through will just haunt you, the memories will never leave you, the mistakes you've done, the ppl you just cant seem to forget... all you can do is to live on with the life you have been given...

a wise man always start of as young and ignorant... as you grow, you learn life lessons, you dun listen to what your elders say, you face the consequences... no matter which aspect of life you are referring to, there's still alot of things that as a young life on Earth, we have to learn... the only difference is whether you have someone there to guild you through it... life can be so unfair to the stage that you have to start from zero while the peers around you have all they needed to start with...

maybe life is just 'simply complicated' ... as cliche as it seems, you have to learn to complicate yourself in order to learn how to live on with life, with so many choices, so many decisions that can lead to happiness or sorrows... so many promises you have to break even though you know you dont want to... selfish beings we all are, to agonise people so that you have the advantage above people... cheaters, liars, heartbreakers, who are you to judge them? no one can... 'life is cruel, just take it' is what i normally hear from ppl who tried to console me at times of difficulty...

at many times, i tried to be selfless and sacrifice as much i can to make others happy, but in the end, i found myself being hurted once and once again by ppl who abused it...

when is it my turn to stand up and say i want to be selfish and fight for what i wanted? is it wrong to be selfish? to take away what that is rightfully mine? they were right when they say you cant please everyone in this world, but being faced with your dearest friend and the one you liked, which one will you choose? either way, you will have to hurt one or another...

whenever i thought my life is becoming clearer and more simple, something will cloud up my mind, turning it to a mess again.. i hate that... should i say my life is becoming more interesting (more likely a drama series, i believe my life story is too happening) or should i say its getting more complicated?

after ranting so much, readers, are you confused yet?? yea, thats how confused i am, nth seems to make sense anymore... hahax, just food for thoughts... ok fine, im nt a very good blogger, but at least ppl who cared noes whats happening to me... and this blog is getting alittle too emo for human being to take... dun wori, my life's getting better, or lets say its up to me now to determine if i wan my life to be better... do i have the energy,courage, faith to face another emotion rollarcoaster? i dunno... i wished i could live my life over again...

i hope he wasnt kidding me, i hope its the way life should be, carefree and simple... i hope after this, its a new begining for me...

2010-02-18T21:32:00.003+08:00

haven been updating the spider-webs-filled blog... =)

cny has been great, even though most of my loved ones were abroad... reali did hope they enjoyed the getaway frm the hussle and bussle life they lead... for me, its time to rest, yea, i slpt alot... talking abt ways to start the new lunar year huh?? chuckle...

in life, there are alot of choices we have to make in order to move on with your life... some are selfish choices, some are selfless ones... and quoting frm a certain person, we are told to follow our gut feelings, the one that will bring you through your choices without regrets... and i guess i would... cuz sometimes its just too hard to decide when ur torn between 2...

till i find you, it will be my destiny of love, wondering if i could see you again... ^^

fairytales can only be found in books... an imaginary world you've created to make believe...

2010-02-02T21:17:00.003+08:00

short snip-it of joanne's life recently

life has been alrite, except for falling sick last week since thurs, im down with the flu bug, still struggling to work till i finally got put down by the scary bugs ytd... going to have a 3 day mc... have to rest enuff to fight for the rest of the year, cnt afford to be sick anymore...

something is bothering me, hoping myself that i will not suffer the same fate as my dear laopo... ive seen how she suffered, still holding on but soo much inner struggle she had faced, she has been strong, very very strong, and yet i still do not noe if it has happened to me, what will i do, will i break down n cry? or will i just give it up? i wonder how did she go through all this... i miss her, i reali do miss her alot...

everything seemed to changed, haven gone back to clinic yet, but i do hope they miss me and if they are alrite, with clinic so bz, ppl fall sick easily... they muz be hating me by now, taking a 3 day mc...

im running away from reality as far as possible, im lost deep in the woods, im stuck... dunno how to move on... when things are clearer, a mist flew and blurred out my vision, i cant find my way out again... why is life such a blur? cuz i dun have my sheepherd to lead me through? or is the person who is involved?

when you are running through my mind, do i realise i reali love u so much...

2010-01-17T14:31:00.003+08:00

EVERYBODY IN LOVE by JLS

Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
If you're in love, put your hands up,

You know you need someone,When the need's so strong,
When they're gone you don't know how to go on,
So the whole world is stuck in a moment,
Standing still until they come back,
You accept that they've, got things to do,
But sometimes in the end there's nothing left for you,
If hurt is missing your baby,I've done too much of it lately

Every minutes like an hour,Every hours like a day,
Every day lasts forever,But what else am i gonna do,
I'd wait forever and a day for you,I wait up, wait up,
I can't eat, I can't sleep, what else could it be,missing you so deep,
long as I'm where you're going to,
I'd wait forever and a day for you,I wait up, wait up for you,

And even when we mad, and say we're through,
Deep inside you feel the same way i do,
Might as well turn around and just end this,
Cause it's harder trying to stay mad,
I could tell you that you can't stay here,
Knowing just as soon as you disappear,
That I'll be missing you baby,
Soon as you get up and you walk away

Every minutes like an hour,Every hours like a day,
Every day lasts forever,But what else am i gonna do,
I'd wait forever and a day for you,
I wait up, wait up,I can't eat, I can't sleep, what else could it be,missing you so deep,
long as I'm where you're going to,
I'd wait forever and a day for you,I wait up, wait up for you,

Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
Everybody in love, go on put your hands up,
If you're in love, put your hands up

Less than one month before the St Valentine's day... when im screening through my songs, a realistic thought struck me... this time round, i have no one by my side to celebrate with, telling me how much he's in love with me, but i do feel slightly better when i think that the lunar new year will be clashing with the 'oh-so-LOVEly' day... it has been awhile since i thought of being in love... i guess i would probably feel lonely on the damned day... thinking of no one special is there to spend it with... but i guess its just me not used to it... which i will after a few years... =)

2010-01-12T19:17:00.003+08:00

update of my life:

life has been normal ever since... nothing exciting in particular has happened...

realised the importance of having a family by ur side... they love me, maybe more than they love themselves... =) im reali grateful that God has given me such wonderful family, just that i didnt realise earlier, such a shame...

keeping a calm mind over things, partly cuz i fell sick... dun reali noe the cause of it, high chance of it being overly stressed... hahax, lousy me... need a vaction soon... and new year is ard the corner... at least a short time for me to rest...

introducing a song by Cheryl Cole- fight for this love

Too much of anything can make you sick

Even the good can be a curse (curse)

Makes it hard to know which road to go down

Knowing too much can get you hurt.

Is it better? Is it worse?

Are we sitting in reverse?

It's just like we're going backwards. (backwards)

I know where I want this to go

Driving fast but lets go slow

What I don't wanna do is crash nooo.

Just know you're not in this thing alone

There's always a place in me that you can call home

Whenever you feel like we're growing apart

Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.oh

Anything that's worth having

Is sure enough worth fighting for

Quitting's out of the question

When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh

Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic

Love aint a walk in the park

All you can do is make the best of it now

Can't be afraid of the dark.

Just know you're not in this thing alone

There's always a place in me that you can call home

Whenever you feel like we're growing apart

Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having

Is sure enough worth fighting for

Quitting's out of the question

When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh

I don't know where I'm heading

I'm willing and ready to go.

We've been driving so fast

We just need to slow down

And just ro-o-o-o-o-oll.

Anything that's worth having

Is sure enough worth fighting for

Quitting's out of the question

When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh

some ppl will search for the right one, some ppl will wait for the right one. but i say, if you found someone you really loved so dearly much, fight for it if you know it will be worth it. fight for your hapiness before it goes away, if it does, you're gonna regret it forever.

cuz boy, you know i missed you...

2010-01-02T15:36:00.002+08:00

BRICK BY BORING BRICK by Paramore

Well she lives in the fairy tale

Somewhere too far for us to find

Forgotten the taste and smell Of a world that she's left behind

It's all about the exposure the lens I told her

The angles are all wrong now

She's ripping wings off of butterflies

Keep your feet on the ground

When your head's in the clouds

Well go get your shovel

And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Go get your shovel And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da

So one day he found her crying Coiled up on the dirty ground

Her prince finally came to save her

And the rest you can figure out

But it was a trick

And the clock struck 12

Well make sure to build your home brick by boring brick

or the wolf's gonna blow it down

Keep your feet on the ground

When your head's in the clouds

Well go get your shovel And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Go get your shovel And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Woah, woah.

Well you built up a world of magic

Because your real life is tragic

Yeah you built up a world of magic

If it's not real You can't hold it in your hand

You can't feel it with your heart

And I won't believe it But if it's true

You can see it with your eyes Or even in the dark

And that's where I want to be, yeah

Go get your shovel And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Go get your shovel And we'll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle

Ba da ba ba da ba ba da...

yes, life isnt a fairytale, even though you might think so. So many times i learnt from mistakes, so many times i fell for the trick. I have never learnt from the mistakes that i thought i would have learnt, its stupid. Perhaps its time to build my defense up brick by boring bricks, so that i will not fall and break down and cry again and again. Run away before its too late.

bury the castle, cause there's no such thing as a fairytale and happy ever afters. Girls, if you had been hurted and losing faith, build your defense up.

2007-03-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

You're not the emo-est of quiz-takers, but you lean in an emo direction. You feel angry and passionate on a regular basis, but you also have an easygoing side that keeps you grounded. You're naturally introspective, but you're not compelled to analyze every detail of your life—sometimes you'd rather shrug your shoulders and get on with the day. You understand why your emo friends seem so sensitive, but you also get why that drives your non-emo friends crazy. You're the happy medium of emo-ness!

2006-10-25T13:28:00.000+08:00

well, i koped this from.. someone cute's blog =)
A-Damn good kisser.
B- Good all around person.
C- You're wild & crazy.
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
E-You have a nice ass
F- People totally adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You get hyper easily.
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things.
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.
O- You're an awesome person.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Sexy!
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgemental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- You're a little too hard to find.

so then...
J- Everyone loves you. (hmm...)
O-You're an awesome person. (reali??)
A- Damn good kisser (heys... tts private lorx...)
N-You are absolutely beautiful (aww... so swit... but so nt true?)
N-You are absolutely beautiful (dun have to repeat rite?)
E-You have a nice ass (huh?! -.-)

there you go, my name...

2006-09-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

day 5 of attachment... last day at polyclinic... ='(
feeling: sad
body batt: 45% (too tired)
facial expression: just trying to act professional

went to dressing department... saw alot of wounds... better not read this post if ur eating dearies... u may lose ur appitide(sori for the poor spelling)... did alot of things... since its the last day of polyclinic attachment, i tried to learn as much as i cn... the staff nurses there are nice... taught mi alot of things... preparations and packing up was done by mi.. clearing and cleaning up... ^^ fun fun fun!! but the wounds are sometimes too disgusting... some even gave off foul odour...-puke- and the smell still lingers ard my nose... eeww... sick... some even are rotten... ahh... bring mi away frm tt place... hahax... but its still gd to c hw the clean up the wounds and all tt...debriefing at 2... collected alot of pamplets... like some kiasu auntie~ wahha... hmm... tts all... mum fetched mi... too much things... poor tigger have to be flattened in my bag... =p

back home~~ home swit home~~

thinking session: currently cnt thing of any... break...

2006-09-21T20:13:00.000+08:00

day 4 of attachment...
feeling:hapi
body batt:50%
facial expression: no expression

went to child development and immunisation department todae... the babie stt came to have their vaccination are cute!! very cute!! cnt help but play with them... hahax... but i cn c tt they noe whats going to happen to themselves... hahax... so all of them are nervous... no matter hw i smile at them... they are distracted... so.. hence didnt smile back... =( had a case of stitching... its so scary... =x the blood is just like an opened tap which refused to be turned off... dengzz... a weird way of discribing things, but its the most perfect kind of discribtion i cn thing of now... the guy tried to act cool and calm... but things cnt be covered when u r in pain... he's wound needed 3 stitches... ouch... saw the whole procedure... and learnt quite alot of things... ^^ overall... its fun...

sori for not blogging yesterdae... cuz i forgot to... =p so... this happens at thursday... which is 21/9...

thinking session: some words are just worn out of use... some things just dun mean as impt as b4...

2006-09-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

day 3 of attachment...
feeling: excited
body batt: 65%
facial expression:tired but tried not to yawn

i was put to the well women department, cnt reali tell u wat i did there... confidential... -nod head- but it was fun... cuz i nv got to c the procedures b4, the aunties are very swit and nice too... they let us in for the checkup... ^^ going back tmr to observed the nurses do antenatal screening... kekex... did some saikang todae... mostly take height and weight, calculate BMI, print patient particular stickers and observed... and of course tok to the staff... hahax... they are veri nice... time flies when u are bz... todae's ok... i like...

thinking session: do u love urself? do u?

2006-09-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

day 2 of attachment...
feeling: total sian
body batt: 65%
facial expression: 30% xiao panda

woke up at 7... had a light breakfast, and got ready to go to the polyclinic... went counsellor room todae... not much patients... but went to the talk on 9... its in malay and the air-con was reali reali nice... double chance of slping... but i didnt... hahax... lecturer wanted to c us... she asked alot of qus... =x no patients in the aftn after lunch time... so started toking to a staff nurse there... =D hahax... i cnt say polyclinic is boring... but the staffs at geylang east polyclinic is superb... very friendly... i like!! p(^0^)q

im miss the days...

first day of attachment

2006-09-18T17:53:00.000+08:00

first day of attachment...
feeling: nervous and sian
time: 8am-4pm
salary: $0.00
body batt: 70%
facial expression: 100% blurrness

i told myself to look professional... heh, but i noe im not larx... geai geai(fake, act) only... unlucky, something went wrong at the start of the day.. so.. a ard 10 mins wasted... reach polyclinic, went ard asking ppl where to go to sign-in... met our enemies... the ite simei... hahax... no larx... i cnt doubt they are pros... i juz cnt beat dem... im stunned... hahax... no, they r reali friendly and they had alr been in hospital for 2 months, no wonder... -.- i was put to the treatment room with one of the ite gurls...^^ which means... i wuld have the chance to learn more since the have experience... cn steal skills ehh?? =p no... i was too lazi to do tt... actually... treatment room is very deserted... not much cases for us to c... =( sad... i was greatly encouraged by the friendly cum nice staff nurses there... even though most of the time we're slacking as there's no cases... was 'caught' by the senior staff nurse to learn some things... hahax... n ive becm a saigang missy... yes... all the photocopies and all tt... haiz... but i cnt say i didnt learn anything todae... but just... less than i expected?? yupyup... lunch with staff nurses at the nearby coffeshop... wasnt feeling well, so no appiteide... =x my staff nurses are very cute... normally, ppl wants us to stay to have more manpower... but mine kept on asking mi to go home, take my break etc... hahax... does tt means im lousy and cn go home faster to advoid mi blocking the way?? hmm... im thinking~~ well, i still enjoyed my day... ^^

thinking session: y does the world work this way?

The super IQ test

2006-02-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

i tried an IQ test in tIckle.com n here's the result...

Conceptual Synthesizer

People who are Conceptual Synthesizers easily grasp underlying concepts when learning something new. They're also able to see complex relationships between ideas that are not always apparent to other people. They're very focused in their approach to life and are not easily distracted.

hahaz... weird... lol...

*angels surrounds miie*

first day of attachment

The super IQ test

angels surrounds miie